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Months go quickly, very quickly… And I don’t even feel how quickly I’m changing, too. At the same time, I feel that the end of my stay in France was either so long or just a few days ago. Soon I’m going to a new adventure – 4 countries of which there is 2 that I’ve never been to and another one I have only visited for a mere day.

Adventures… Yes. So many of them. I’m constantly being out of my comfort zone. You know, your comfort zone is the area where you feel the most relaxed, most “at home”, you are the most passive and so on. Some years ago I’ve heard from a girl that your personal development really happens when you get outside of your comfort zone. But now, I could say that I’ve been out of my comfort zone for months, if not years… I really should slow down a little bit. Well, I’m only saying this in relation to the future… For now, I have arranged the most crucial things for my shortest plans, but unti I got here, I had some tiring periods.

Let’s hope though that I can get over the difficulties and continue to be open for new adventures.

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I am no longer a slave of tests, exams, projects, etc. because I am all done with them. Gosh, from all the semesters I have done so far, this was by far the hardest. I still can’t believe it’s over, and I totally forgot how it felt to be totally free.

Well, I still have some things to do, like talk to some teachers, arrange things connected to my internship at ITD Hungary, but these are minor things and don’t require my attention 24/7. I also need to buy some new clothes, shoes, a new notebook and some other things I can’t recall now.

Now I can feel free to be excited, distracted, bored, sleepy, lazy, hyper, you name it 🙂

I don’t really have inspiration to write anything here, because there are so many things to write about that it’s hard to talk about just a few of them.

But I promise that in my next post, you’re going to see a small photostream about my last semester in France 🙂

I am glad February is over (it was a clever guy who invented 28-day Februaries!) Together with the second half of November, it wins the award “szirmaik’s least favourite time of the year” every year, as it’s still cold outside, the gray sky doesn’t even let the sun shine through the clouds, it’s raining, there are no green leaves on the trees… So, I am cheering for March.

I have had one free week, as there was no school (ski break for some people, slack week for me :P). Most of the fellows travelled to other towns (or other countries)… but not me, I didn’t have money for that as my @>Đä]đ&#] scholarship is being delayed. But well, I’m going to have some weekends and a spring break later to do what I want 😉 I was, however, searching for a new room for myself, in which I succeeded :). The old one, in Savigny-sur-Orge, was WAY too far from the city, so the new one had to be in (or very near) Paris. Actually, it’s in a little suburb, Ivry-sur-Seine, just near Paris and metro. I really like the environment and the flat, even though my room has only a very little window and therefore, together with the glass door in the little “salon”, receives only a little bit of daylight 😦 But well, my room is very big, home-y and the apartment has access to a garden – what more can I ask for, especially when the spring is coming?

And the more the spring comes, the more time I am going to spend outside. I want to gaze at the sunsets and at the water of the Seine, I want to go picnicking somewhere, I want to spend hours walking around unknown places, just listening to music… Too be honest, I miss the summer a little bit, I miss my “real” home of my heart, the Lake Balaton, the sunsets, the smell of mud and freshly cut grass drying on the sun, the stars above me when I walk in the garden in the night… But well, everything has its own time and there are some months left until July that I can ENJOY, especially if I can do it in such a beautiful country as France 🙂

Well… Who cares about all those famous buildings and monuments when there are plenty of more interesting things in Paris to photograph? 😀

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Yes, I know I am weird.

And here I am, after several days, but still alive.

With ambivalent feelings.

At the same time I love and hate Paris. At the same time am I happy that I chose the right way to learn French and am I sad because the lack of community and Erasmus spirit.

So, let’s explain.. 1: I am spending most of my free time rambling around the streets of Paris. The weirder and more unknown/less touristic the street is, the better. And may it be looking over the busy Boulevard Périphérique or striking the cobblestone streets of Montmartre (not completely free from tourists of course, but at least guided tours seem not to prefer it) or taking the tram across the 14th and 15th district (why I love these districts so much, I don’t know…) I am so amazingly happy to discover more and more each day. However, what I realized is that I could have been living here for years, still I wouldn’t call Paris my home as it seems so big, urban and a bit impersonal. Even Budapest is so, sometimes. I think the ideal size of a town for me stops somewhere between 300,000 and 500,000… 😉 Also, I am seriously convinced that I should escape some parts, especially where fashion addict, rich singles from abroad are doing their comfort shopping. (There are two things that piss me off actually, one is human stupidity and the another is megalomania/snobism. Got the consequences?)

And the 2: I came, I saw and I started to speak French. My Business French teacher who also gives Intercultural Management classes, is a wonderful Dutch woman who has been living in France for like twenty-five years. I really love her. She does everything to encourage the group (of 3 people :D). It’s a little bit sad though that there are actually 3 people from the whole international student group who actually can speak French on a somewhat intermediate level. And I am not satisfied with that group at all. I miss the variety of countries, I miss the Erasmus spirit. Most of them have come from the United States, China, Singapore etc. and of course they aren’t Erasmus students either, but arrived here as the result of a collaboration between this institute and theirs. This isn’t a bad thing at all, but I really miss people from more different cultures. I think the only real Erasmus students, besides me are a Spanish guy, an Italian guy and some girls from Sweden and UK. And as you can guess, we don’t live in a common residence but in different places, most of us are in “homestays” so after classes everyone goes home or spends the time with their friends – currently staying in Paris – whom they have known before. No talks, no excursions or walks together, no parties or just simple reunions, no cooking feasts dedicated to national cuisines. No nothing. It’s depressing. Maybe we just still need to find the common voice and find out something interesting to do. And I have the feeling that maybe I should do something myself to improve the situation. And besides my French school, I think I should also contact students from my college who are studying in different institutions in Paris, maybe we could do a Hungarian party one day… Just be creative, Kriszti.

And I think there must be a point 3 after all, but without any doubts and ambivalences: my roommate, Tanya, from Russia, is one of the most amazing people you can imagine. When I am home or travelling together with her (like last Sunday to Chartres) I feel so happy and cheerful and alive. We are joking and laughing a lot… God, thank you. Thank you for her.

*just looking around if everyone understood these incoherent writings* – but if not, it isn’t a problem either. I am tired and off to sleep now. Good night.

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“My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there” and “I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list”

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